Texas-Wyoming Atlatl Challenge

The Texas-Wyoming Atlatl Challenge: Round 2; Wyoming Whups  Texas Again!

Cheyenne, WY: Wyoming atlatlists have jubilantly proclaimed a second victory over their Texas rivals in the Texas-Wyoming Atlatl Challenge. Atlatlists from both states claim to be among the smallest groups in the U.S. and have vowed to determine which one will be the top dog among the underdogs. The Challenge was first issued and accepted early last year following a libelous exchange between Roy “Raweye” Wenmohs of Texas and Russell “Redeye” Richard of Wyoming. According to sources familiar with the dispute, after a photo of “Red Raweye” was leaked to the media Mr. Richard declared Mr. Wenmohs to be a ‘scurrillous armadillo’ and a ‘red menace’  who was ‘masquerading as a loyal member of the Union Suits when he is clearly a danged Long John’. Mr. Richard further contended that Mr. Wenmohs was ‘nothing but a bean in a bucket compared to the Red Rogue of Wyoming’ and that ‘The mighty Red Sean himself bequeathed to Wyomingites his awesome atlatl abilities and none other than the Blue Streak has given us the ability to throw in the western winds so knowing this tarted-up imposter is out there makes me want to sharpen my dart and go hunting.’ 

 

Red Raweye of Texas                               

                                                                                           Red Rogue of Wyoming

           Red Sean, the patron saint of Wyoming

 

                                                                        The Blue Streak of Colorado

Both groups gathered their throwers together and threw for the honor of their respective states on World Atlatl Day on June 4, 2011. During that event Wyoming fielded 14 atlatlists who cast 370 times in the raging wind for an overall total of 944 points and a high team score of 189 points. Texas reported totals of 59 and 32. Mr. Wenmohs blamed the school system in Texas for the embarrassing showing. Mr. Richard was heard to say at the time ‘We came, we threw, we conquered.’

Stinging from their indisputable trouncing at the hands of the Wyomingites, the foolhardy Texans agreed to lay their cojones on the table and meet again on the field of competition on February 11, 2012. The brave little band of 15 mammoth hunters from Wyoming trudged through a blizzard to meet on the appointed day where they stoically endured bone-breaking cold and ear-ripping wind to amass a total of 565XXX points. The Texas atlatlists failed to arrive at their balmy location and handed the Wyomingites a resounding but hollow victory. Mr. Richard released this statement to the media: ‘ Well hell, if I had known it was going to be that easy I would have stayed home and paid a couple of kids a dollar each to go throw for us.’

This is where the Challenge stands today, Wyoming 2, Texas 0. The question uppermost in the minds of the atlatl world is “will there be a Round 3, can Texas salvage any measure of dignity and rally together to attempt a comeback?” Only the weeping Texans can determine their future, as for Wyoming, they stand united and always ready to fling their darts into the wind in defense of their frozen homeland.